Commentaries

Perceptions on work and life

How to retain employees

It's been said a trillion-billion times, and it needs to be said even more: employees don't often leave their job because of the company—they usually leave because of their manager.

Yet too many executives don't understand this, or if they do, many don't know how to change the behavior of managers. So they often resort to bringing in food trucks after an administrative miscalculation, or unveiling a new list of corporate values, or purchasing a foosball table for the break room, or any number of clichéd tactics in a desperate attempt to boost employee satisfaction and reduce turnover.

I have experienced, seen, read, and heard about this in all kinds of industries—finance, energy, healthcare, resources, technology, and non-profit.

Here is what an employee really wants: a good manager—someone who treats them well and appreciates them and their work. The rest—salary, benefits, working conditions, etc.—are important but far less so.

Companies, departments, and managers will retain their best employees longer when supervisors become even more adept at connecting with and managing their employees.

How much good will would that create in your company? How many employees would be happier at work? How much money would that save your company in reduced turnover?

So go on if you wish and keep bringing in more ping-pong tables, offering more perfunctory listening sessions with headquarters, and creating more goal and mission tasks. But when the time is right for you, I recommend training and enabling your managers to create an exceptional work experience for each of their employees.

I think I know which approach your employees would prefer.

Emotional attunement is key in managing

An elite mentor of mine, the amazing executive coach Dr. Scott Livingston, recently wrote about a prospective client who was miffed by the touchy-feely stuff he was hearing in the discovery call. He retorted to Dr. Livingston: "Enough already about helping people process the losses they've experienced" and went on to demand help for having people simply work better. Livingston then rightly helped the man understand the crucial importance of processing.

People who haven't processed the trauma and pain they've experienced (either major or minor stuff) will act in ways that don't help them lead people well. They unknowingly retain that pain, and we've all seen the results. They are the managers whose traits might include being emotionally removed, snippy, phony, cold, or verbally abusive. Their dysfunctional behaviors include thinking only of themselves, hogging conversations, lying, not giving due credit for other people's ideas, not praising the accomplishments of others, not knowing how to connect, and you could probably name more.

The key to growing into the leader you wish to become involves being emotionally attuned to yourself and others. This may involve working through some past pain—maybe even something significant. A great option is therapy, which diagnoses and treats an area of brokenness. After that, a good option is executive coaching, which has the added benefit of a 360 evaluation. This allows 8-10 people to anonymously speak truth into your life through your coach. Then, together you can examine the feedback, identify patterns, and develop a plan for addressing blind spots and maximizing strengths.

When the time is right for you, contact me to learn how we can create a plan for you and your team, group, or family to learn key skills in emotional attunement. This will help effective leaders become even better, and it will allow struggling leaders to learn how they can grow to become better versions of themselves.

Doing this will improve your organization's performance, and your team will be grateful.

Healthcare providers need to be taught how empathy is actually practiced

People of all kinds of professions come through my workshops, including many in healthcare—doctors, nurses, physical therapists, and nutritionists. Every now and then someone will show me a constructed model from a research journal that purports to show the latest idea of how providers can better relate to patients. Many of these are ridiculous, even hilariously unhelpful, often with dozens of buzzwords such as "concordance," "open-floor engagement," and "congruence" presented in a jumbled flowchart of boxes and shapes and arrows that weary the reader with a Rube Goldberg of instruction.

Most healthcare practitioners aren't taught the actual things to say that demonstrate empathy. They're typically just instructed to engage in something like "active listening," which in the mind of their instructor or mentor means to just listen and then ask questions. Guess what? That's not active listening!!! Asking questions requires the other person to work for you and give you information you're seeking.

Granted, as a healthcare provider, your role indeed does involve asking questions. But providers must first earn their right to ask questions. First they must demonstrate to the patient that they understand what is in the patient's mind. That takes an understanding of how to do it and what to say. Then it takes a bit of practice with role-plays in a workshop and real-life experience, but you'll learn that the concept is simple. Some healthcare providers think they don't have time to do this in a short patient visit. However, what healthcare employees in my workshops are saying is that they now realize they don't have time not to do this.

Getting this right could significantly change healthcare for the better. Numerous studies have shown that doctors who demonstrate empathy will see a better health outcome in their patients—and this has been shown to help with a wide variety of issues, including back pain, surgical recovery, IBS, and diabetes. Some studies have shown that true empathy was just as helpful for the patient as medication or a workshop on the presenting ailment. Wild, huh?

Do you see how significant this is? Demonstrating empathy well means healthcare providers can make a huge difference in helping improve health, which may mean a reduction in the dispensing of medication. It begs the question: are doctors of medicine taught empathy in school . . . or not— because it's perceived as a less prestigious practice than prescribing medicine?

When the time is right for you, contact me so we can set up a meeting in order for your healthcare providers to learn ways of connecting with others on a deeper level. This has huge implications for how providers talk to each other and their patients. Your employee retention rate, patient satisfaction scores, and, most importantly, your patients' well-being will be the proof.

Every message is an opportunity to 'Wow!'

The importance of strategy and sticking to it

History is rife with failed political candidates and social movements that were bogged down with poor messaging—whether an onerous 59-point plan, a confusing wish-list of grievances, or a rambling speech that left potential supporters saying, "Huh?"

I've seen "huh?" many times on the faces and lips of employees at several organizations after a leader delivered a confusing speech at an all-hands forum, motivating many employees to log onto LinkedIn when they get back to their desk. They wonder if there is perhaps another employer who can explain the organization's mission and keep them excited about working there.

Make your leadership role a successful one by developing strategic messaging and sticking to it at every chance. Then your platform and goals will be clear to supporters, employees, and other stakeholders.

Understand this: every appearance, speech, and employee forum is an opportunity to inspire confidence in you and your organization. So plan. Rehearse. Strategize with your communications team. And when traveling to speak, maximize every opportunity by planning in advance—perhaps an audience needs a custom message, or opportunities are available to promote the speech to people beyond just those in the room.

The more you plan strategic messaging, the more likely it is to be understood by the audiences you're seeking to persuade. Your clear, strategic messages will resonate throughout speeches, press releases, internal memos, marketing materials, social media posts, and in other key forums.

A great first step is to read books about executive communications and public speaking. I offer several recommendations on my Resources page.

When the time is right for you, contact me to learn how you can make a big impact and get strong results with strategic messaging and impactful delivery. Your performance is on the line—so be sure to inspire people at every opportunity.

Plan on meetings of 20-50 minutes every week or two. That way you'll be able give each other updates, create informed strategies, and ensure timely execution of plans.

Know that when you bring on temporary outside expertise, it may actually be more work for you than what you're currently doing. But know this, too: your performance will be greatly enhanced. 

So if you're spending the money for a consultant, do the work. You'll get stronger results!

Are you living a diverse life?

Diversity starts with each of us

Years ago I was at an elegant restaurant in South Korea with three local executives. A few bites into our meal, one man pointed at my utensils and exclaimed to me in front of his colleagues, "Ah, you're a chopstick master!" He was gregarious and exaggerating a bit, but it became clear—by what was soon stated and not stated—they appreciated that I could eat well with chopsticks along with them, and that many of the international consulting visitors they had received in the past could not . . . or didn't even try.

If you're an executive or aiming for such a role, it's important to know a lot about the world and how to operate in it when working across cultures. Doing so offers rich living—both for yourself and for how it honors those in communities you visit.

We hear a lot these days about people wanting others to understand their culture and experience, which is great. But here's my question: if you want other people to understand you, what are you doing to understand someone else?

Do you have a degree or certificate in a culture that isn't your own? Do you read books about other cultures or countries? Do you volunteer for various community groups? Do you visit places of worship that are new to you? Do you learn to eat cuisine from other parts of the world . . . and in the way they eat it? Does your travel to other countries involve more than just plunking yourself by the resort pool for days on end?

There is so much we can enjoy and learn from a community that isn't our own, even if we might disagree with some of its practices or principles. We can appreciate a culture's history, philosophy, language, religion, customs, art, business methods, communication styles, food, holidays, and traditions (got any others?). What's more, bringing some of those things along with us can make our own culture even richer.

If I'm managing a diverse group of people, then it's important that I be a diverse person myself. Yes, I might make a minor faux pas now and then, but seeking to understand and then demonstrating some expertise can go a long way in earning people's support.

Your employees want you to be well-versed in the basics of a lot of cultures. They will be inspired by your knowledge and understanding.

Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, and Indigenous—get to know them all. And get to know the dynamic variety withing each of these groups. No excuses. The library is free. You can watch videos. You can take classes. You can talk to people. You can visit new places.

You may already be the type who knows a lot about other cultures. Great—keep it up!

Learning and growing—now that's a rich, diverse life.